This is practice

Enter the Detective

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 14:17:43 GMT

If there’s anything I like more than buying comics, its buying them on the cheap. I've bought a giant edition of “Howard the Duck” for fifty bucks in New Delhi, a “House of Mystery Digest” and “DC Best of 1981” for twenty bucks each in a basement in Ahmedabad, “The Amazing Spider-man” trade for twenty five bucks at Girgaum, the first 6 issues of TMNT (collected edition in color) for forty bucks at Fountain and a bunch of comics (including Batman: Dark Victory) bought brand new at nearly half price from Anurag (call me if you want his cellphone number) also at Fountain. I know you already knew that.

I found a series of EDGE trade paperbacks on the shelves of Crossword a few months back. They were cheap – marked down to about a hundred bucks each. I figured that with six stories apiece, buying six issues would be buying six TPBs for the price of one… a good deal in any parallel universe. Placed right next to EDGE were the FORGE trade paperbacks - similarly priced. Thirteen issues each (or so it seemed then) of FORGE & EDGE lying right next to each other. Twenty six books for the price of four. – a real no-brainer that.

I came home with Batman: Haunted Knight (damn good), Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters (excellent), American Virgin: Head (interesting/witty), 100 bullets: First shot Final call (haven’t read it yet) & Sandman Mystery Theater vol. 1 (haven’t read that yet either.) They cost a lot of money.

Two reasons I didn’t buy either EDGE or FORGE. First, I hadn’t heard of them and neither of them registered anything on Wikipedia (Opera Mini™ on your cellphone – don’t leave home without it) and second – there were a few issues missing - EDGE issues 7, 10 & 13 FORGE issues 3 to 8. Didn’t see the point of buying all those comics and end up with missing plot developments in all of them. I didn’t sleep well that night. The next day, I ‘just happened to accompany a friend ’ to Crossword. I checked again… the missing issues were still uhm… missing but I learnt that they were published by Crossgen Entertainment, and Wikipedia mentioned FORGE & EDGE as trade paperbacks that collected issues spread across different titles… and the fact that Crossgen was now bankrupt (So much for that format then). I came back with a special edition of Catch 22 (yep… a book without pictures) & Neil Gaiman’s Stardust.

Two days later I bought EDGE #1 to 6 just to dispel the sense of dread that was creeping in. I had no intentions of reading them immediately (Ok… there were three reasons for not picking these up earlier) and that’s because the contents page of EDGE #1 read something like this

Ruse: Chapter 1

Mystic: Synopsis and Chapters 15-16

Sigil: Synopsis and Chapter 15

Scion: Synopsis and Chapter 15

The First: Synopsis and Chapters 8-10

With four out of five series beginning mid-way (FORGE wasn’t any different) you could see why the prices were marked down. This format was probably Crossgen’s last ditch attempt to avoid bankruptcy. I wasn’t too put off by this – I’ve spent years reading part two of three and getting over it - just too busy with work, DVDs and the other comics I’d been buying. So EDGE issues 1-6 hung around my bookshelf with the sole purpose of being read when I ran out of comics to read.

That was two months ago.

Yesterday, I picked up EDGE # 1 on my way to the bathroom (no, I haven’t run out of comics to read). I started with Ruse: Chapter 1 – A Victorian Era detective series documenting the exploits of Simon Archard & Emma Bishop. That’s when I noted it was written by Mark Waid (Kingdom Come, 52, Batman, Superman: Birthright, JLA & a bunch of Marvel stuff that I can’t remember just yet.) At the end of the first issue, Ruse turned out to be a story of the detective (Simon Archard) with the razor sharp mind and distaste for the illogical, his partner (Emma Bishop - a sorceress who strangely enough is not allowed to use or disclose her powers and keeps her abilities hidden), Miranda Cross - the mysterious baroness with diabolical plans who discovers Emma’s abilities and shows how she can steal them if she tries to use them, the fishes used to smuggle opium into the city of Partington (where the stories are based) on the planet Arcadia. Arcadia’s a lot like Earth - only the city has gargoyles that fly around like pigeons and have apparently eaten all the bats. The second & third issues introduce Simon’s ‘network of agents’, touch upon the subject of Simon’s dead and not to be talked about former partner (Lightbourne) and sets the stage for some of the best dialogue between the protagonists of any series of comic books that I have ever read (and that includes Buffy season 8).

On my way home from work tonight I took a detour and bought EDGE issues 8,9, 11 & 12.

Read companion post containing my review of Ruse here or visit http://seethroughtheshitvision.wordpress.com/ for more details on Ruse.

In Progress

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 04:33:18 GMT

Well, the intentions are still noble and there are a few things I intend to post...but most of the time I'm either too busy or too lazy to do so. So its not that things are not happening...for instance I'm in Aurangabad where the hotel shows Ten Sports in the morning and Star Cricket at night...so I miss the India v/s Australia series in the morning and the West Indies v/s South Africa series in the evening. I'm sure the cable operator hasn't been paid for a while... considering the only thing worth watching (and with fairly decent reception) this morning was New Zealand v/s Bangladesh. The cable operator also seems to suffer from power cuts at the most inopportune times...which means I have to switch to DD (National & News) quite a few times. Scary stuff that... Chennai correspondent says that Govt. is now going to throw the book at people buying pirated stuff from the market. I hope they were referring only to computer software (cable was restored and I stopped watching). Those with access to the Hindu may kindly take note and let me know... and pray that Bombay doesn't follow suit.

Gotham Comics still can't get its deadlines right...which isn't that bad considering that they were out of circulation for two years before they came back on this year. Their choice of titles/ story arcs is pretty decent though. Batman & Son first ish looked good and Ultimate Spider-man & Astonishing X-Men storylines are pretty cool. Virgin comics - well, they're not as bad as a lot of people have made them out to be.

Videos on this site need to be changed. (Simpsons movie was excellent) and I got 3:10 to Yuma on DVD. Its on my "watch" list...along with some 20 others. RSS feed looks OK for now. Guys may want to check out my friend Aditya's blog (kaulout.wordpress.com) if your'e interested in his thoughts on mobile and wi-fi networking and the other things that form part of his life.

Dawn Of The Dread...or the things they don't show in coming of age flicks...

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 14:48:51 GMT

My cousin Angshuman made an interesting observation last night. Of course, it was something that had crossed my mind before, but I'll give him credit for saying it out loud.

He said we'd become boring.

Fine, it was past midnight, I was half asleep and trying to make sense of what was left of "Blackhawk Down" so its likely he may have said something like "Since when did we become so boring?" in a fashion that made it more of a question than a statement...but I'm pretty sure thats what he meant.

Now I'm sure you, the blogging public who live to question every assertion and illustrate terms like 'cyberslacking' are looking forward to a critical examination of this statement. As of now you’re probably thinking on the lines of "Could this be true? No/Yes...no hold on...remember that time...why? Why now?" However, for the benefit of those who’d rather skip the reasoning and get straight to the conclusion - the answer is "No".

Seriously.

An alternative answer would be “Obviously Not - you bunch of intellectually challenged half brained twits!” but I believe you get the message. Anticipating your thirst for details, I shall now answer all those probing questions that allege that the old firm (est. 1980 though one of the founders showed up in 1977) has run out of gas.

Does this mean that “Weezer Week” is finally over?

Yes. *Singing* What’s the deal with my brain why am I so obviously insane? In the perfect situation I let love down the drain….

How can you call his observation ‘interesting’?

First of all…it was my observation. He just said it aloud first. Now that there are two of us thinking on those lines it qualifies as interesting.

What did you guys do with your last performance bonus?

Most of my money went into buying an apartment in the suburbs. Angshuman invested so as to avoid paying more tax on the money he was making.

Ha! And that is not boring because…?

Lets see…that apartment in the suburbs may someday become the ultimate bachelor pad once its ready… or I could make a killing by selling it off and use the proceeds towards buying out my neighbourhood book-shop … tax savings is our way of keeping the Government away from our money…which eventually go into buying more DVDs, books, comics and videogames. If my memory serves me right, most of my bonus went in paying off debts that had accumulated on account of my extremely interesting and travel rich lifestyle.

Dude…your neighbourhood bookshop happens to be “Crossword” at Kemps Corner.

No…take a left instead of taking a right and you’ll end up at Warden Book house at Warden Road. Plenty of good second hand stuff there.

Hmm…interesting. So what are you guys planning to do with your bonus this year?

Bonus…what bonus? Do you mind keeping it down? We don’t live in a tax haven y’know…

Ok…so what do you spend most of your money on?

Books, DVDs, Comics, entertainment, clothing, computer accessories, travel, petrol, motorcycle maintenance, loan instalments. Can we change the topic now? I’m sure they’re on to me…

Is it true your friends have more interesting jobs?

Lets see…a few of them make documentaries, which as we all remember is the stuff that would be telecast instead of your favourite show back in the day when there was only one TV channel. A couple of others are sociologists or work with NGOs which essentially means having to make a career out of your social studies textbook. (Kindly flashback to 8^th standard Civics and let me know how much you remember.) There are a few who are better off though…the freelancers, the ones who ‘work’ from home and the ones engaged in ‘research’ but we have cooler designations (Assistant Manager – Business Risk Services & Managing Editor – Quality Control & Publishing Intelligence.)

When was the last time you took a vacation? Why don’t you guys do a “Dil Chahta Hai” and drive down to Goa?

Diwali. Was at home and did absolutely nothing other then read comics, watch TV and laze around. As for DCH… we’re short one guy (not to mention the merc convertible). He’s in Calcutta…studying engineering or something…we thought of going there and bumming his playstation but that doesn’t sound interesting enough. Goa is where all the boring people go to lighten up. Now we would go to more exotic places like the North East, northern Sri Lanka, Nandigram, Orissa etc. but our jobs that help us maintain our super interesting lifestyles tend to get in the way. Also we have NO money. (Those of you who may be on to me may kindly take note.)

Any interesting plans for the future?

No plans. Live each day at a time and look forward to surprises…that’s part of the interesting lives we lead. Case in point…my mom decides to go to Delhi for a few days, which results in me being able to order DVDs from Delhi. His parents may visit in January, which means I send him comics. I go to Delhi for a training session, I pay for my own DVDs and show him where to buy comics in Delhi.

What’s with the ‘Dawn of the Dread’ title and what is it that they leave out of coming of age flicks? How does any of this prove that you guys are not boring?

So that’s it. The old firm which so far has been the pinnacle of laziness, sloppiness and disregard for authority has not run out of gas. We’re not boring…in fact, we’re probably better off than you, average reader who skipped through this entry because you were supposed to be ‘working’. We rock! Ha!

I’m not sure how that answers my question…

Yeah well, pay attention next time.

testing flurry

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 11:01:45 GMT

Send an email to my phone!

Type your message here

This is Weezer week

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 10:33:11 GMT

...well, kind of. 'Perfect Situation' has been playing in my head and on my computer all week long. Don't ask me why. It just came in one fine morning and then refused to leave. Yes...I know its almost two years old now. It got stuck in my head then as well.
Kudos to my colleague D for not complaining. I think its stuck in his head too. He starts making these funny head movements when this song is on. Video somewhere on this page (for the next few days at least). Audio below.

Weezer - Perfect S...

Cricket: Police deny reports on Woolmer killing suspects

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 07:55:56 GMT

I know what youre thinking....thats one heck of a revenge story! The last thing you expected to arise from the Bob Woolmer murder investigation was...umm... Bob Woolmer himself? Personally, I hate the fact that almost every figure of authority like the Government or the Police discounts the supernatural and makes us believe that dead people don't go around killing other people. I'd be filing this under "Supernatural/ Gothic/ Horror/ Revenge" had my natural sense of curisousity not intervened.
No...this is not from the Times of India. Its from the International Herald Tribune (IHT Sports - quoting Bloomberg). RSS Feed towards bottom left of this page.

Blue

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 18:13:55 GMT

Now this is ridiculous. Why are we still subjected to the 'Blue Billion' campaign? If "Ooh Aah India" wasn't irritating enough in the first place...its even worse now that we're out of the World Cup. No...I don't think that Bangladesh is gracious enough to lose to Bermuda. Even if the bookies pay them a lot of money. Even if the Indian Government made a formal request....and promised to drop all plans of deporting illegal immigrants.

All said and done...no team is bigger than the game...and no game in the world cup came close to the quality of the Auz/SA contest last night. Australia set huge target. South Africa chase the huge target in the way huge targets are supposed to be chased...and look like they're going to pull it off till the last recognised batsman is at the crease. We also had that direct hit from Shane Watson fielding the boundary that got De Villiers out. Thats cricket.

At least we have four years to get to that level. We could start by getting rid of all the dead weight. Dravid, Sachin and Saurav aren't going to be playing in 2010 so we could ask them to draft retirement plans....soon. Drop Agarkar and Sehwag. Make up your mind on Uthappa, Pathan and Sreesanth. Change the coach. (Sorry Greg...but we need a fall guy...and a coach.) If the companies sponsoring the team and individual players have a problem with that, ask them to get their 'brand ambassadors' to play domestic cricket. That'll improve the game at the first class level and get more spectators. It'll also give Neo Sports some return on its investment. Lets face it...cricket and hockey are the only team sports where India enjoys some seblance of credibility. Hockey's pretty much down in the dumps. Lets keep cricket from following suit.

Damn "Mind and body, heart and soul" ad is on again. Thats VISA brainpower for you.

Another addition to the week's cool headlines...

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 05:38:50 GMT

...though I think this may have been more of a goof up. From today's TOI.

"Tata's Rs 100,000 car to hit Two-Wheelers"
...as opposed to other car manufacturers' Rs (*much larger amount*) cars that also hit other cars, people, lamp-posts and every other object that is in close proximity of anything bearing resemblance to things that India refers to as roads??. This could be a step up considering Tata's project has been met with much cynicism and is now being closely watched by all and sundry. The earlier hypothesis...that a cheap car won't hit anything as long as it does not exist...seems to have been tossed out of the window.

They've changed the headline in the online edition. I suppose the change might've made it to the late-city edition as well...but this is what the Pune edition carries. ..(later on why I'm reading that.) For those inclined to read it...its an article on the probable impact on the sales of expensive motorcycles. No...no one's worrying about the obvious lack of parking space. Yet.

Other cool headlines this week:
India Takes Shorts of Bermuda - TOI
Viru scores century (against Popatwadi XI) - Mumbai Mirror

Best World Cup Ever!

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 19:48:47 GMT

I don't know about you guys...but I'm really enjoying the circus so far. Sure, I hate the fact that we lost to Bangladesh (GOD... that still hurts) but then lets take a look at this objectively.

Opinion: The action starts only from March 27, when the Super 8 group kicks off.
Fact: First week of the world cup, Pakistan is already out. Bob Woolmer is dead. India is struggling to meet net run rate requirements. Three quality matches so far (WI/Pak, Eng/NZ, Zim/Ire) and the big ones (Aus/SA, Ind/Sri) still to come. Our dismal performance against Bangladesh means that the following matches will also be of interest:
India v/s Bermuda (BIG win required)
Bermuda v/s Bangladesh (Bangladesh's win shouldn't be as BIG as India's)
Bangladesh v/s Sri Lanka (umm...Bangladesh should win...and our win over Bermuda should be BIGGER than Sri Lanka's win over Bermuda)

Opinon: We're out of the World Cup.
Fact:This just in on Times Now. We need to beat Bermuda by 200 runs. Then beat Sri Lanka by 30 runs or so. Sri Lanka needs to beat Bangladesh. Bangladesh will then have to beat Bermuda by close to 250 runs or so and if they fail to do so will be knocked out of the WC. If Bermuda win the toss and bat first against Bangladesh, its curtains for Bangladesh as a low scoring match kills the run rate.

My question: What if Bangladesh beat Sri Lanka and so do we. Don't we and Bangladesh go into the next round then?
Opinion: Shut up.
Fact: Ref. opinion

But the best part about cricket is that its not just about the action on the field...but also about all the thinking aloud that goes on off the field. So what we lost in entertainment value during the match against Bangladesh was compensated by the next day's analysis and dissection. Star News and Aaj Tak analysed and condemned the days 'performance' in the fashion that we're only too familiar with. In the process, they succeeded in doing something that seemed impossible in 2003. They made the SET MAX panel look good. In fact...the SM panel is pretty good. (The DD panel is the one to watch though. Nayan Mongia and Chetan Chauhan.) NDTV had a Navjot Siddhu and Ajay Jadeja combination. Their verdict: India lost because of Saurav Ganguly's slow rate of scoring. He should've been playing shots and boosting the confidence of the players yet to come in to bat. Like Sehwag, Uthapa, Sachin and Dravid? Call me daft, but in my opinion...one set batsmen at the crease is worth four strokeplayers cooling their heels in the dressing room.

Then again, cricket is the perfect patron for the art of spin. Consider this. India bats first against Bangladesh,scores a paltry 191 and the pundits advocate the decision to chase against weak teams you're not too familiar with so that the target is always in front of you. India's batting line up is condemned for failing to put up a fight against a surprisingly good Bangladesh bowling line up. Now, India bats first against Bermuda, scores 413 and then everyone talks about the importance of batting first against weak teams because low scoring matches will always result in lower net run rates (D-uh!)

For a world cup that began with a tabloid rounding up tarot card readers and astrologers (consensus: expect the unexpected, anything can happen, any 4 of the 8 teams that make it to the super 8 can make it to the semi-finals, so you really think we can see the future ...suckers!) this is giving us more than what we expected. All we need now is Pepsi getting rid of the irritating "Ooh Aah India" campaign. Kudos to Iodex for NOT relaunching their Ooh Aah OUCH campaign at this stage. There's only so much a fan can take.

300

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 18:21:41 GMT

No, I haven't seen it yet. Stop rubbing it in. Yes, I will see it... soon...stop asking.
I spent 1200 bucks on the book. No p2p downloads for me. I own a copy of the double spread watercolour work of art. Try and beat that. Ha!

Check this out in the meanwhile.

Hope and Faith...

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 06:14:37 GMT

...are probably the only things that'll take me through the next half hour and this hugely irritating sitcom. Why do most American rejects land up here? Anyway...I think I've seen the 'smarter' of the two sisters (I couldn't figure out who's Hope and who's Faith) somewhere before. Between her and her husband they look like a present day Samantha and Darren from 'Bewitched'....or they act like they were. Too much nose twitching...unfortunately no magical plot twists coming up with them. Only in bad sitcoms can two people leave for a private discussion ("can I see you in the kitchen for a minute") at least 6 times in half an hour without the others wondering what its all about...or taking offence to being the topic of private discussion. Hope and faith also lead me to believe that one day Zee Cafe will stop broadcasting reruns of 'Full House' and 'Friends' The former was never funny...and you can get bored of friends after the number of reruns its been put through. How come we don't get to see the first season of 'The Sopranos' again...or reruns of 'Witchblade' for that matter?

Star World isn't all that bad though. 'My name is Ed' was new...and interesting - if you're willing to discount the mysterious reappearance of the lottery ticket. 'Scrubs' was good, followed by 'Crumbs' which is well...new. Whoa!Mitch is gay? Didn't see that coming. Ok...so 'Crumbs' is not for the homophobic. Good cast...decent acting...I think I'm going to follow this one for the next few weeks and hope the script gets better. '8 Simple Rules' is not funny. Intentionally. Its a kinda cranky episode that was aired as a tribute to John Ritter who died a couple of years back when the show was aired in the US.

So I guess Star World is better than Zee Cafe on Thursday nights. Thursday looks like the new Monday. Hope you're reading this Joe/Matt. One of these days I'm going to blog on a real time basis. Damn data card gives out on me when I need it most. Should've stuck to GPRS.

Junk

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 05:07:51 GMT

Ok...making fun of the Mumbai Mirror is pretty low...even by my standards. Its like pointing out plot loopholes in a comic strip, but when a news article like this doesn't even make it to the Lokmat Times (later on why I'm reading that paper these days) you're glad that the Mumbai Mirror comes free with the Times of India. Maybe we should sympathize with the next telemarketeer (I'm not sure thats the right word) who calls us considering that this guy obviously needs help. Pathetic stuff...considering that the underlying story here is not the petition that he filed, but the circumstances that led him to it!

My Lord, tell people I’m God

HC judges reject Kurla resident Mishra’s petition saying divinity is beyond their jurisdiction

Friday, March 09, 2007 The Bombay High Court on Thursday heard an unusual petition from a resident of Kurla. Dharmendra Mishra wanted the court to declare him as God.“I’m Ram, Vishnu, Buddha, and Christ. I know everything that goes around. I should be given the same powers enjoyed by President A P J Abdul Kalam.Whatever I say should be considered a rule and followed by the whole world,” the 30-year-old call centre employee told a bench comprising acting chief justice J N Patel and justice S C Dharmadhikar.Arguing his case in person, Mishra pleaded that he be given the reins of the country and the universe. His petition mentions that his wife is ‘Laxmi’ and she recollects instances from her previous births.He claims that his son is an incarnation of former prime minister Rajiv Gandhi while Congress president Sonia Gandhi was his mother in his previous birth.He insists that he would not die even if he consumes a poisonous substance such as potassium cyanide. Apparently, he has apprised the President, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, Lok Sabha Speaker Somnath Chatterjee, Sonia Gandhi and Chief Justice K G Balakrishnan about his divine powers.
After Mishra spok e for nearly 20 minutes, the court said it could not entertain his petition. “It is not in our jurisdiction to declare you God,” it said.On hearing this, Mishra left the court telling the people present in the premises that he could prove his divine powers.

I should be given the same powers enjoyed by the President and whatever I say should be considered as a rule —Dharmendra Mishra

Of course, just when you're about to write off this newspaper...it redeems itself with this article (in spite of the cheesy headline). This didn't appear in the Lokmat Times either. Sure, we're familiar with movies without immediate endings ( Star Wars V, Back to the Future II, POC- Dead Man's chest, The Italian Job) and movies that don't appear to have endings (Arzoo, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Only Yesterday, Contact) but this one's well...different.

An end-less film

Friday, March 09, 2007 Raman Kumar's cross-border drama Sarhad Paar which releases today is, according to the director, only 90 per cent complete. Director Raman Kumar is, understandably, upset. "The producers are going ahead with the release although we haven't shot some vital scenes. I can't say they haven't taken my consent, but I have given it very grudgingly. What can I do, if they simply go ahead and release the film? The story is incomplete, and some of the highlights are yet to be shot. It's a very sensitive Indo-Pak film about prisoners of war. It tells the story of a soldier who loses his memory during the Indo-Pak war and how his wife helps bring him back to normalcy. After his memory returns, he wants to return to war. This was a story idea that I lived with for 10 years. I wanted to make it in Punjabi with Amrish Puri. It finally went to Sanjay Dutt. And it took four years to complete — or rather four years to remain incomplete."
This isn't the first time this is happening to director Raman Kumar. Earlier he had watched helplessly as the producers of his comedy Wah Wah Ramji had gone ahead and released the film in an incomplete state.

Now, Raman has vowed never to work with any other producer. He says, "I'd rather do television, though it isn't fulfilling. But I can't make feature films under these terrible conditions. See, the beautiful moments in the film aren't carried forward logically. There are too many inexplicable gaps. The war scenes were never shot…."

Raman attributes the 4-year delay and incomplete status of the film to several factors. "During one schedule in Chandigarh, Tabu had to suddenly leave for a Bengali film. Tabu and Sanjay Dutt had a common secretary. But the delays just kept increasing," he says.

Sanjay, apparently, wasn't comfortable doing Sarhad Paar. "I think he lost interest in the film. I'm neither his type of person nor filmmaker. I can't sit and drink with him. But Tabu is my kind of actress. She and I used to joke that we should make a film on the making of Sarhad Paar. It would be even more interesting than the film," he says.

Then again...there's always the possibility of a sequel..."Abhi Bhi Sarhad Par..." Or maybe its part of a trilogy of unfinished films that are unleashed on the paying public.

Somedays you just can't be funny. Sigh! The things I do to move up on Technorati.

P1.5M Update

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 06:20:13 GMT

Currently ranked at # 1,699,776!
Either Technocrati has conked off or we're doing some really good business here. While we've jumped a million places in the past week, for some strange reason, we share that spot with 12apostrophes and The Actionist (thanks for adding this page to your blog roll dude). What are the odds??

So I guess #1,699,776 is the new 42... or maybe its code for "Yeah, I see you...there in the middle in that grey shirt and blue jeans..."

techno

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 07:29:17 GMT

“55 million Blogs...some of them have to be good!” – Matt
A few days ago, a mysterious combination of three factors (friend’s recommendation, boredom and a handy Firefox toolbar) saw yours truly logging on to Technocrati, becoming a member and “claiming” this space.

This space debuted at #2,678,032 - not bad considering that Technocrati claims it has 55 million blogs in its directory. Guess that puts this page in the top 5% of the world’s blogs (“If we can’t find your blog its likely that it doesn’t exist. Or…you don’t exist. In which case you can ignore this message” - Technorati Support) The next day, I found that we’d slipped to #2,684,663 thereby losing close to 7000 places in 24 hours. Which proves that registering yourself on Technocrati and favouriting your own blog can only push you up in the rankings upto a point, after which it depends on actual content and how many others “favourite” your blog and link to it.

The huge drop in rankings forces me to announce the commencement of Project One Pont Five Million (“P1.5M”). The aim of this project is to get this space right up there with the top one and a half million blogs on Technocrati. With a little co-operation from my nearly double digit (confirmed) readership, I believe this is not impossible. Kris’s blog (12apostrophes) - one of my favourites - is ranked close to a million places ahead at #1,738,595. I suspect that this may have something to do with the fact that he has TWO blogs linking up to it - this page and Defective Yeti (a pro ranked at #2,141). The fact that 12apostrophes is group authored, has shorter and more blogs that make it a much more interesting page to look at could also have something to do with it but I’m pretty sure I could bridge the gap with people simply linking up and ‘favouriting’ this.

In anticipation of your support, here are my responses to questions that you might just ask.

Are you out of your mind? Oh come on…since when did a little ambition/ competitive spirit be regarded as madness? I could choose to rest on my laurels at being ranked somewhere in the top 5% but that’s not the attitude that’s going to get India the World Cup! Before you know it, P1.5M may soon get upgraded to Project ONE million (“P1M”).

Who is Matt and why Technocrati? Matt, from what I can make out, is the new Joe, pretty much the same way Orange is the new Pink and BKC is the new Nariman Point. Technocrati’s logo is better than that of Myspaces. Technocrati’s top ranked blogs are Boing Boing and Endgadget as opposed to Myspaces, where the corresponding honours belong to Ms. Tila Tequila. Plus, I forgot my MySpaces password.

Who’s Tila Tequila? Look her up on Wikipedia or Myspaces. She wants you check out her new video and buy her single when its out for download on I-tunes.

Which is the Top Ranked MSN Space? I don’t know. I haven’t checked. I have a day job.

Great. So what are we supposed to do? Well, you could post comments on this blog for one thing. I really, really appreciate (I am not making this up) the kudos I get on this over the phone, on messenger and through email but its going to need more to make P1.5M a success and pave the way for P1M. Those of you have blogs (yes, the ones in the “Also check out” section), return the gesture by linking up to this space. If you look hard enough I think you can find the feature in Blogger or Myspaces.

So does this mean you’re going to update your space more often? Not really. But you can check out the videos from Youtube. They’re pretty nice. Plus, I rearranged the space for your convenience and there are more feeds to check out.

You sure you have double digit readership? In fact, the chart on Technocrati tells me that this space sees a daily traffic of 4000 and above (don’t ask me for units of measure). I have a feeling this is drive-by traffic on route to Boing Boing, Endgadget, asstr.org, 12apostrophes or Tila Tequila.

Copy that. Can we check out Tila Tequila’s page now? Fine! Sheesh…just make sure you don’t forget to post comments on this one and LINK UP!