If there’s anything I like more than buying comics, its buying them on the cheap. I've bought a giant edition of “Howard the Duck” for fifty bucks in New Delhi, a “House of Mystery Digest” and “DC Best of 1981” for twenty bucks each in a basement in Ahmedabad, “The Amazing Spider-man” trade for twenty five bucks at Girgaum, the first 6 issues of TMNT (collected edition in color) for forty bucks at Fountain and a bunch of comics (including Batman: Dark Victory) bought brand new at nearly half price from Anurag (call me if you want his cellphone number) also at Fountain. I know you already knew that.

I found a series of EDGE trade paperbacks on the shelves of Crossword a few months back. They were cheap – marked down to about a hundred bucks each. I figured that with six stories apiece, buying six issues would be buying six TPBs for the price of one… a good deal in any parallel universe. Placed right next to EDGE were the FORGE trade paperbacks - similarly priced. Thirteen issues each (or so it seemed then) of FORGE & EDGE lying right next to each other. Twenty six books for the price of four. – a real no-brainer that.

I came home with Batman: Haunted Knight (damn good), Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters (excellent), American Virgin: Head (interesting/witty), 100 bullets: First shot Final call (haven’t read it yet) & Sandman Mystery Theater vol. 1 (haven’t read that yet either.) They cost a lot of money.

Two reasons I didn’t buy either EDGE or FORGE. First, I hadn’t heard of them and neither of them registered anything on Wikipedia (Opera Mini™ on your cellphone – don’t leave home without it) and second – there were a few issues missing - EDGE issues 7, 10 & 13 FORGE issues 3 to 8. Didn’t see the point of buying all those comics and end up with missing plot developments in all of them. I didn’t sleep well that night. The next day, I ‘just happened to accompany a friend ’ to Crossword. I checked again… the missing issues were still uhm… missing but I learnt that they were published by Crossgen Entertainment, and Wikipedia  mentioned FORGE & EDGE as trade paperbacks that collected issues spread across different titles… and the fact that Crossgen was now bankrupt (So much for that format then). I came back with a special edition of Catch 22 (yep… a book without pictures) & Neil Gaiman’s Stardust.

Two days later I bought EDGE #1 to 6 just to dispel the sense of dread that was creeping in. I had no intentions of reading them immediately (Ok… there were three reasons for not picking these up earlier) and that’s because the contents page of EDGE #1 read something like this

Ruse: Chapter 1

Mystic: Synopsis and Chapters 15-16

Sigil: Synopsis and Chapter 15

Scion: Synopsis and Chapter 15

The First: Synopsis and Chapters 8-10

With four out of five series beginning mid-way (FORGE wasn’t any different) you could see why the prices were marked down. This format was probably Crossgen’s last ditch attempt to avoid bankruptcy. I wasn’t too put off by this – I’ve spent years reading part two of three and getting over it - just too busy with work, DVDs and the other comics I’d been buying. So EDGE issues 1-6 hung around my bookshelf with the sole purpose of being read when I ran out of comics to read.

That was two months ago.

Yesterday, I picked up EDGE # 1 on my way to the bathroom (no, I haven’t run out of comics to read). I started with Ruse: Chapter 1 – A Victorian Era detective series documenting the exploits of Simon Archard & Emma Bishop. That’s when I noted it was written by Mark Waid (Kingdom Come, 52, Batman, Superman: Birthright, JLA & a bunch of Marvel stuff that I can’t remember just yet.) At the end of the first issue, Ruse turned out to be a story of the detective (Simon Archard) with the razor sharp mind and distaste for the illogical, his partner (Emma Bishop - a sorceress who strangely enough is not allowed to use or disclose her powers and keeps her abilities hidden), Miranda Cross - the mysterious baroness with diabolical plans who discovers Emma’s abilities and shows how she can steal them if she tries to use them, the fishes used to smuggle opium into the city of Partington (where the stories are based) on the planet Arcadia. Arcadia’s a lot like Earth - only the city has gargoyles that fly around like pigeons and have apparently eaten all the bats. The second & third issues introduce Simon’s ‘network of agents’, touch upon the subject of Simon’s dead and not to be talked about former partner (Lightbourne) and sets the stage for some of the best dialogue between the protagonists of any series of comic books that I have ever read (and that includes Buffy season 8).     

 
On my way home from work tonight I took a detour and bought EDGE issues 8,9, 11 & 12.

Read companion post containing my review of Ruse here or visit http://seethroughtheshitvision.wordpress.com/ for more details on Ruse.

My cousin Angshuman made an interesting observation last night. Of course, it was something that had crossed my mind before, but I'll give him credit for saying it out loud.

He said we'd become boring.

Fine, it was past midnight, I was half asleep and trying to make sense of what was left of "Blackhawk Down" so its likely he may have said something like "Since when did we become so boring?" in a fashion that made it more of a question than a statement...but I'm pretty sure thats what he meant.

Now I'm sure you, the blogging  public who  live to question every assertion and  illustrate terms like 'cyberslacking' are looking forward to a critical examination of this statement. As of now you’re probably thinking on the lines of "Could this be true? No/Yes...no hold on...remember that time...why? Why now?" However, for the benefit of those who’d rather skip the reasoning and get straight to the conclusion - the answer is "No".

Seriously. 

An alternative answer would be “Obviously Not  - you bunch of intellectually challenged half brained twits!” but I believe you get the message. Anticipating your thirst for details, I shall now answer all those probing questions that allege that the old firm (est. 1980 though one of the founders showed up in 1977) has run out of gas.  

Does this mean that “Weezer Week” is finally over?

Yes. *Singing* What’s the deal with my brain why am I so obviously insane? In the perfect situation I let love down the drain….

How can you call his observation ‘interesting’?

First of all…it was my observation. He just said it aloud first. Now that there are two of us thinking on those lines it qualifies as interesting.

What did you guys do with your last performance bonus?

Most of my money went into buying an apartment in the suburbs. Angshuman invested so as to avoid paying more tax on the money he was making.

Ha! And that is not boring because…?

Lets see…that apartment in the suburbs may someday become the ultimate bachelor pad once its ready… or I could make a killing by selling it off and use the proceeds towards buying out my neighbourhood book-shop … tax savings is our way of keeping the Government away from our money…which eventually go into buying more DVDs, books, comics and videogames. If my memory serves me right, most of my bonus went in paying off debts that had accumulated on account of my extremely interesting and travel rich lifestyle.

Dude…your neighbourhood bookshop happens to be “Crossword” at Kemps Corner.

No…take a left instead of taking a right and you’ll end up at Warden Book house at Warden Road. Plenty of good second hand stuff there.

Hmm…interesting. So what are you guys planning to do with your bonus this year?

Bonus…what bonus? Do you mind keeping it down? We don’t live in a tax haven y’know…

Ok…so what do you spend most of your money on?

Books, DVDs, Comics, entertainment, clothing, computer accessories, travel, petrol, motorcycle maintenance, loan instalments. Can we change the topic now? I’m sure they’re on to me…

Is it true your friends have more interesting jobs?

Lets see…a few of them make documentaries, which as we all remember is the stuff that would be telecast instead of your favourite show back in the day when there was only one TV channel. A couple of others are sociologists or work with NGOs which essentially means having to make a career out of your social studies textbook. (Kindly flashback to 8^th standard Civics and let me know how much you remember.) There are a few who are better off though…the freelancers, the ones who ‘work’ from home and the ones engaged in ‘research’ but we have cooler designations (Assistant Manager – Business Risk Services & Managing Editor – Quality Control & Publishing Intelligence.)

When was the last time you took a vacation? Why don’t you guys do a “Dil Chahta Hai” and drive down to Goa?

Diwali. Was at home and did absolutely nothing other then read comics, watch TV and laze around. As for DCH… we’re short one guy (not to mention the merc convertible).  He’s in Calcutta…studying engineering or something…we thought of going there and bumming his playstation but that doesn’t sound interesting enough. Goa is where all the boring people go to lighten up. Now we would go to more exotic places like the North East, northern Sri Lanka, Nandigram, Orissa etc. but our jobs that help us maintain our super interesting lifestyles tend to get in the way. Also we have NO money. (Those of you who may be on to me may kindly take note.)

Any interesting plans for the future?

No plans. Live each day at a time and look forward to surprises…that’s part of the interesting lives we lead. Case in point…my mom decides to go to Delhi for a few days, which results in me being able to order DVDs from Delhi. His parents may visit in January, which means I send him comics. I go to Delhi for a training session, I pay for my own DVDs and show him where to buy comics in Delhi.

What’s with the ‘Dawn of the Dread’ title and what is it that they leave out of coming of age flicks? How does any of this prove that you guys are not boring?

So that’s it. The old firm which so far has been the pinnacle of laziness, sloppiness and disregard for authority has not run out of gas. We’re not boring…in fact, we’re probably better off than you, average reader who skipped through this entry because you were supposed to be ‘working’. We rock! Ha!

I’m not sure how that answers my question…

Yeah well, pay attention next time.

Star World isn't all that bad though. 'My name is Ed' was new...and interesting - if you're willing to discount the mysterious reappearance of the lottery ticket. 'Scrubs' was good, followed by 'Crumbs' which is well...new. Whoa!Mitch is gay? Didn't see that coming. Ok...so 'Crumbs' is not for the homophobic. Good cast...decent acting...I think I'm going to follow this one for the next few weeks and hope the script gets better. '8 Simple Rules' is not funny. Intentionally. Its a kinda cranky episode that was aired as a tribute to John Ritter who died a couple of years back when the show was aired in the US.

So I guess Star World is better than Zee Cafe on Thursday nights. Thursday looks like the new Monday. Hope you're reading this Joe/Matt. One of these days I'm going to blog on a real time basis. Damn data card gives out on me when I need it most. Should've stuck to GPRS.

My Lord, tell people I’m God

HC judges reject Kurla resident Mishra’s petition saying divinity is beyond their jurisdiction

Friday, March 09, 2007 The Bombay High Court on Thursday heard an unusual petition from a resident of Kurla. Dharmendra Mishra wanted the court to declare him as God.“I’m Ram, Vishnu, Buddha, and Christ. I know everything that goes around. I should be given the same powers enjoyed by President A P J Abdul Kalam.Whatever I say should be considered a rule and followed by the whole world,” the 30-year-old call centre employee told a bench comprising acting chief justice J N Patel and justice S C Dharmadhikar.Arguing his case in person, Mishra pleaded that he be given the reins of the country and the universe. His petition mentions that his wife is ‘Laxmi’ and she recollects instances from her previous births.He claims that his son is an incarnation of former prime minister Rajiv Gandhi while Congress president Sonia Gandhi was his mother in his previous birth.He insists that he would not die even if he consumes a poisonous substance such as potassium cyanide. Apparently, he has apprised the President, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, Lok Sabha Speaker Somnath Chatterjee, Sonia Gandhi and Chief Justice K G Balakrishnan about his divine powers.
After Mishra spok e for nearly 20 minutes, the court said it could not entertain his petition. “It is not in our jurisdiction to declare you God,” it said.On hearing this, Mishra left the court telling the people present in the premises that he could prove his divine powers.

I should be given the same powers enjoyed by the President and whatever I say should be considered as a rule —Dharmendra Mishra

Of course, just when you're about to write off this newspaper...it redeems itself with this article (in spite of the cheesy headline). This didn't appear in the Lokmat Times either. Sure, we're familiar with movies without immediate endings ( Star Wars V, Back to the Future II, POC- Dead Man's chest, The Italian Job) and movies that don't appear to have endings (Arzoo, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Only Yesterday, Contact) but this one's well...different.

An end-less film

Friday, March 09, 2007 Raman Kumar's cross-border drama Sarhad Paar which releases today is, according to the director, only 90 per cent complete. Director Raman Kumar is, understandably, upset. "The producers are going ahead with the release although we haven't shot some vital scenes. I can't say they haven't taken my consent, but I have given it very grudgingly. What can I do, if they simply go ahead and release the film? The story is incomplete, and some of the highlights are yet to be shot. It's a very sensitive Indo-Pak film about prisoners of war. It tells the story of a soldier who loses his memory during the Indo-Pak war and how his wife helps bring him back to normalcy. After his memory returns, he wants to return to war. This was a story idea that I lived with for 10 years. I wanted to make it in Punjabi with Amrish Puri. It finally went to Sanjay Dutt. And it took four years to complete — or rather four years to remain incomplete."
This isn't the first time this is happening to director Raman Kumar. Earlier he had watched helplessly as the producers of his comedy Wah Wah Ramji had gone ahead and released the film in an incomplete state.

Now, Raman has vowed never to work with any other producer. He says, "I'd rather do television, though it isn't fulfilling. But I can't make feature films under these terrible conditions. See, the beautiful moments in the film aren't carried forward logically. There are too many inexplicable gaps. The war scenes were never shot…."

Raman attributes the 4-year delay and incomplete status of the film to several factors. "During one schedule in Chandigarh, Tabu had to suddenly leave for a Bengali film. Tabu and Sanjay Dutt had a common secretary. But the delays just kept increasing," he says.

Sanjay, apparently, wasn't comfortable doing Sarhad Paar. "I think he lost interest in the film. I'm neither his type of person nor filmmaker. I can't sit and drink with him. But Tabu is my kind of actress. She and I used to joke that we should make a film on the making of Sarhad Paar. It would be even more interesting than the film," he says.

Then again...there's always the possibility of a sequel..."Abhi Bhi Sarhad Par..." Or maybe its part of a trilogy of unfinished films that are unleashed on the paying public.

Somedays you just can't be funny. Sigh! The things I do to move up on Technorati.

The huge drop in rankings forces me to announce the commencement of Project One Pont Five Million (“P1.5M”). The aim of this project is to get this space right up there with the top one and a half million blogs on Technocrati. With a little co-operation from my nearly double digit (confirmed) readership, I believe this is not impossible. Kris’s blog (12apostrophes) - one of my favourites - is ranked close to a million places ahead at #1,738,595. I suspect that this may have something to do with the fact that he has TWO blogs linking up to it - this page and Defective Yeti (a pro ranked at #2,141). The fact that 12apostrophes is group authored, has shorter and more blogs that make it a much more interesting page to look at could also have something to do with it but I’m pretty sure I could bridge the gap with people simply linking up and ‘favouriting’ this.

In anticipation of your support, here are my responses to questions that you might just ask.

Are you out of your mind? Oh come on…since when did a little ambition/ competitive spirit be regarded as madness? I could choose to rest on my laurels