Anirban Banerji

A friend of mine recently mentioned that I was a tad self obsessed. It was one of those "can’t win" conversations where she said something about herself and then I made a corresponding statement about myself only to get a “There you go, talking about yourself again… how self obsessed can you get?!” (or words to that effect). Then she said “I liked your blog, you write quite well” to which I modestly replied  “Really?, Which piece did you read?”  (because y'know, I have two blogs) and got an “Oof! I don’t remember! Just accept the compliment will you... God, you really like to fish!” (again, words to that effect). As this blog doesn’t get too many compliments so I accepted every good word gratefully. ( Note: I have been informed that as of this morning, I have readers as far away as Gurgaon… I think readership increased ever since I put in more pictures of myself).

This conversation was taking place while I was at Shimla. Not on vacation, just a day trip while we were working on an assignment in Baddi (the part of Himachal that now looks a lot like Ankleshwar). While my colleague was having a conversation in Gujarati with his wife, I was speaking to my friend in Bengali who pointed out (again) that I spoke Bengali like a Calcutta based Gujarati. Faulty network signals do result in weird accents.

Shimla was beautiful. There were some subtle changes since my last visit (late 2003). The drive to Shimla from Chandigarh/ Panchkula had always been pleasant, but the shops all along the Solan-Shimla stretch took me by surprise. While a lot of people I know continue to criticize Shimla for its apparent “commercialization” I like to see a small city (formerly Hill Station) that has a shopping mall, high end coffee shops, a smart multi-cuisine restaurant serving good Mexican food, a multiplex in development , Tantra T-shirts, organized Pay & Park facilities and lest we forget… plenty of ATMs and shops accepting credit cards. (That was a major setback during my Arunachal trip… and the only reason why I didn’t buy the Chinese Rambo hunting knife). Enough about me now, here's some of the stuff Shimla has to offer. Visit the Photos section for more.

I had a great time at Angshuman’s wedding. The whole gang was there, the food was great and the drinks were free (thank you Mesho). As a side effect my mother’s references to my currently non-existent wife have increased in frequency and now tend to crop up even during the most absurd conversations. My sis to me: “Your books are automatically my books anyway” (absurd). Ma butts in with “By that logic, are you going to lay a claim to his wife’s sarees as well?” (even more absurd). The rest of the conversation didn’t make sense either… or I wasn’t listening, since the only way to deal with these conversations is to move out of earshot.

Cause for concern – my books aren’t safe anymore. Bigger cause for concern – my former landlady mentioned a recent conversation with my mother where she was complaining about my lack of intellect when it came to women. "He's picked all the PRETTY ones during the wedding. Doesn't he know that the pretty ones are already engaged/ seeing someone?!" Before I digress even further…

Attending weddings: Myths vs. Reality

Myth: Since you’re a cousin and key member of the groom’s entourage you are expected (and will end up) making yourself useful by performing errands, assisting in decorations, heavy lifting etc.

Reality: It helps if there are younger and stronger cousins in the 18-25 age group. They do all the work – and smile while they’re at it. (Totai, Rinki – you guys rock.) While I do recall running the occasional errand (usually involving ice and drinks) and the occasional carrying stuff from the car to the apartment my work there more or less involved a. Eating b. Drinking c. Riding shotgun when the groom drove to and from his new apartment. In fact the job that required the most effort from me was “waiting for the guy with the mattress to show up and not pay or sign anything.”

Myth: Test cricket strategies do not apply to wedding related excursions.

Reality: Five days of rich food, drinking and staying up late with a constitution like mine cannot be managed unless you have a strategy in place. Why go all out on a single meal when you have (at least) eight more sessions to tackle? So while the younger and fitter and the older and more experienced lost control of their stomachs mid way through the functions, yours truly enjoyed every meal and can still remember the items he loved the most… per meal!

Myth: Dhooti-Kurtas make you look dorky

Reality: Real men wear dhootis and look good in it. (See picture). Smart guys (me) don’t drink on nights they’re wearing dhootis (to avoid going to the bathroom.) Brave guys (not me) go to the bathroom clad in dhootis…

Myth: A good suit would go well with everyone.

Reality: A good suit needs to be ironed to meet the approval standards of your brand new boudi… brand notwithstanding. “Did you pull that out of a handi?” (Ha! I’m pretty sure a handi isn’t big enough to carry a suit … I pulled it out of a suitcase.)  Everyone else appreciated it… but I guess I lost a few brownie points for not ironing my suit before showing up for her wedding reception.

Myth: Since you’re apparently “next in line” family members will rag you about your “plans” at every possible occasion

Reality: They shall do so only at the most inopportune times. You’re at the wedding, looking at a pretty girl and your uncle comes up to you and whispers “Which one of those three do you like, tell me quick.” A few minutes later (and at a different spot) your aunt comes up to you and whispers “That’s it, keep looking straight ahead… she’s right behind me”. You converse with a couple of pretty girls at the reception and the next day you realize you were photographed. “You like her… should we take it forward?” When you point out that its not your decision and the entire process depends on getting her consent… they just wave offhand like that’s the smallest possible detail that can be attended to at a moments notice. One of my aunts, however, took a realistic view  - “In case this doesn’t work out… would another one just like her do?”  Wonder what everyone was up to in the days I was looking for a girlfriend.

Myth: I will fall for any girl who likes comic books. (Alternatively: Every conversation I have will revolve around comic books)

Reality: I may fall for any girl who likes me. My life isn’t all comic books y’know. Sure I love them and have a lot of them, but then I also have a pretty decent P.G. Wodehouse collection (more than 60 of them – most of them bought second hand on a student budget – the entire Jeeves & Wooster series without a single omnibus edition) and my job (which bankrolls my interests) involves assisting companies on internal controls and risk management. So it is extremely irritating when a friend interrupts an interesting conversation I’m having with someone I just met (where I did not bring up comic books) with “so has he brought up comic books yet”.”

The Amazing Spider-Man “Brand New Day” storyline rocks by the way.  I was quite pissed when I first heard about it, but its very well executed. Make mine Marvel.

Myth: There is no list. Alternatively, telling yourself that there’s no list would make the said list disappear.

Reality: Even Angshuman’s mentioned a list… and he’s not even on the search committee. Apparently I’m the only one who hasn’t seen it.

Myth: My mom’s quest for a daughter in law is still on the drawing board stages where it shall continue to be till the end of time.

Reality: I'm screwed.

If there’s anything I like more than buying comics, its buying them on the cheap. I've bought a giant edition of “Howard the Duck” for fifty bucks in New Delhi, a “House of Mystery Digest” and “DC Best of 1981” for twenty bucks each in a basement in Ahmedabad, “The Amazing Spider-man” trade for twenty five bucks at Girgaum, the first 6 issues of TMNT (collected edition in color) for forty bucks at Fountain and a bunch of comics (including Batman: Dark Victory) bought brand new at nearly half price from Anurag (call me if you want his cellphone number) also at Fountain. I know you already knew that.

I found a series of EDGE trade paperbacks on the shelves of Crossword a few months back. They were cheap – marked down to about a hundred bucks each. I figured that with six stories apiece, buying six issues would be buying six TPBs for the price of one… a good deal in any parallel universe. Placed right next to EDGE were the FORGE trade paperbacks - similarly priced. Thirteen issues each (or so it seemed then) of FORGE & EDGE lying right next to each other. Twenty six books for the price of four. – a real no-brainer that.

I came home with Batman: Haunted Knight (damn good), Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters (excellent), American Virgin: Head (interesting/witty), 100 bullets: First shot Final call (haven’t read it yet) & Sandman Mystery Theater vol. 1 (haven’t read that yet either.) They cost a lot of money.

Two reasons I didn’t buy either EDGE or FORGE. First, I hadn’t heard of them and neither of them registered anything on Wikipedia (Opera Mini™ on your cellphone – don’t leave home without it) and second – there were a few issues missing - EDGE issues 7, 10 & 13 FORGE issues 3 to 8. Didn’t see the point of buying all those comics and end up with missing plot developments in all of them. I didn’t sleep well that night. The next day, I ‘just happened to accompany a friend ’ to Crossword. I checked again… the missing issues were still uhm… missing but I learnt that they were published by Crossgen Entertainment, and Wikipedia  mentioned FORGE & EDGE as trade paperbacks that collected issues spread across different titles… and the fact that Crossgen was now bankrupt (So much for that format then). I came back with a special edition of Catch 22 (yep… a book without pictures) & Neil Gaiman’s Stardust.

Two days later I bought EDGE #1 to 6 just to dispel the sense of dread that was creeping in. I had no intentions of reading them immediately (Ok… there were three reasons for not picking these up earlier) and that’s because the contents page of EDGE #1 read something like this

Ruse: Chapter 1

Mystic: Synopsis and Chapters 15-16

Sigil: Synopsis and Chapter 15

Scion: Synopsis and Chapter 15

The First: Synopsis and Chapters 8-10

With four out of five series beginning mid-way (FORGE wasn’t any different) you could see why the prices were marked down. This format was probably Crossgen’s last ditch attempt to avoid bankruptcy. I wasn’t too put off by this – I’ve spent years reading part two of three and getting over it - just too busy with work, DVDs and the other comics I’d been buying. So EDGE issues 1-6 hung around my bookshelf with the sole purpose of being read when I ran out of comics to read.

That was two months ago.

Yesterday, I picked up EDGE # 1 on my way to the bathroom (no, I haven’t run out of comics to read). I started with Ruse: Chapter 1 – A Victorian Era detective series documenting the exploits of Simon Archard & Emma Bishop. That’s when I noted it was written by Mark Waid (Kingdom Come, 52, Batman, Superman: Birthright, JLA & a bunch of Marvel stuff that I can’t remember just yet.) At the end of the first issue, Ruse turned out to be a story of the detective (Simon Archard) with the razor sharp mind and distaste for the illogical, his partner (Emma Bishop - a sorceress who strangely enough is not allowed to use or disclose her powers and keeps her abilities hidden), Miranda Cross - the mysterious baroness with diabolical plans who discovers Emma’s abilities and shows how she can steal them if she tries to use them, the fishes used to smuggle opium into the city of Partington (where the stories are based) on the planet Arcadia. Arcadia’s a lot like Earth - only the city has gargoyles that fly around like pigeons and have apparently eaten all the bats. The second & third issues introduce Simon’s ‘network of agents’, touch upon the subject of Simon’s dead and not to be talked about former partner (Lightbourne) and sets the stage for some of the best dialogue between the protagonists of any series of comic books that I have ever read (and that includes Buffy season 8).     

 
On my way home from work tonight I took a detour and bought EDGE issues 8,9, 11 & 12.

Read companion post containing my review of Ruse here or visit http://seethroughtheshitvision.wordpress.com/ for more details on Ruse.